I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
