You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
