Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
