Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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