oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
