so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
