i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
