I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
