Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
