I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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