I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
