When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
