I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
