My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
