Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
