am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
