yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
