haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
