walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
