Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
