didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
