The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
