I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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