WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
