trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
