I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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