Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
