Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
