bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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