Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
