5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
