Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
