I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
