i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
