I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
