If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
