ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
