New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
