Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Drake has all the answers
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
