I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
wow bdsm is so cute
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
