Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she looked like the before picture.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
