i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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