belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
