Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
