you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
