Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
