I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
