but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
