I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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