If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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