If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
