"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
